Loving Others to Life

In our last blog we talked about the importance of investing into others for the purpose of life transformation.

Concepts such as “discipleship” and “mentoring” have been buzzing around for awhile. Programs are developed; resources are produced; ministries are created – all in an effort to somehow reproduce favorable results.

Yet reality proves that people are different. No matter what “formula” we use to make discipleship “neat and effective” – we find that what works for one person doesn’t necessarily bring the same resultsin another.

If we turn to programs or formulas, rather than seek God’s personalized wisdom, we can miss tremendous opportunities to impact lives on profound levels.

The questions before us remain:

·        “Can I be a vessel God uses to love someone into their next stage of growth?”

·        “What does this person truly need to see about God; about themselves; about life in general in order to thrive in his/her current situation?”

·        “How can I ‘encourage them daily’ toward the goal of reaching their destiny in Christ?”

The level of personal sacrifice required to love someoneinto growth isn’t something we can package in a “one size fits all” program.

It takes deep intention to get to know them; to seek God on their behalf; to speak both words of comfort and words of challenge when appropriate. It takes endurance. It takes vision. It takes personalization.

It requires that the heart of God for that person be formed in us. In Galatians 4:19 Paul compares his passion for their growth to labor pains. It is no easy task, but the fruit is well worth the effort.

If the Kingdom of God resides in the hearts of man – it is only by releasing someone into the fullness of their destiny that we expand the Kingdom. It is all about fruit born in relationships not “programs”.

So who are you loving into their destiny? Can you identify those in whom God has called you to invest? If so, what is your vision for that relationship? How will you intentionally pour the life of Christ in you into that other person? Are you willing to pay the price? How will thiscause YOU to grow and develop along the way?

The Fine Art of Communication

Ah, communication – that vital ingredient in all relationships. Done well, it can form bonds of greater union and cooperation. Done poorly it becomes a destructive weapon that can rip apart relationships and the very soul of another human being.

Communication is a tricky venture. While we often think of communication as speaking, words only account for about 7% of our “communication”. In fact, non-verbal clues such as body language, eye contact and tone “say” much more than our words. If body language conflicts with verbal language, the receiver is more likely to believe the non-verbal message. Thus eye contact, leaning into a conversation and an occasional attentive nod of understanding are important tools when communicating.

Another potential for frustration in the communication process stems from the simple fact that we all process words and their meanings through personal filters. We assume the receiver should understand our message exactly as we meant it, but this is rarely the case. The receiver processes your words and non-verbal clues through his or her own personal filter. That filter is based on similar experiences in his/her past. As a result, he or she may conclude that you meant something that you actually didn’t say. This is especially true when the receiver assigns feelings and motives to a message sent by the communicator.

Because communication has the potential to be so “messy”, skills such as active listening, reflection, and clarification are crucial when seeking to increase understanding, intimacy and cooperation.

Active listening requires us to give the sender our undivided attention. It means laying aside our own desire to formulate a response, assume we understand, or shut down the communication process. Authentic active listening can be one of the greatest demonstrations of love. It shows the other person that you care about their heart and their thoughts. It suggests a desire to genuinely “know” them.

Reflection refers to the ability of the receiver to speak back what s/he heard. The goal is to make certain that the correct message was received. In a sense, it is like mirroring back what you have heard said. The emphasis is on content of the message, but it is here that the receiver may also seek to identify the feelings and motives of the communication. (What was the intent and/or desired outcome?)

Finally, clarification allows the receiver to follow up with any relevant questions to ensure s/he has heard both the content and the intent behind the communicator’s message. This requires patience on the part of both parties, particularly in emotionally intimate relationships. Often we hear the words, but not necessarily the heart, behind them. In order to provide a “safe environment” for vulnerable communication, we need to refrain from judging, attacking, assuming, and belittling while working toward understanding, appreciation and ultimately love.

Learn more about other ways you may be sabotaging your communication.

Satan's Secret Fear - Part Three

In the previous two blogs we discovered that Satan trembles when a believer has an undivided heart and radically pursues the Kingdom of God. We also examined how unity in the family creates an atmosphere where God’s Kingdom invades the earthly realm. Satan will stop at nothing to bring division in our own hearts and in our homes.

It stands to reason that he will also seek to tear down relationships built among the larger body of Christ. Just as he exploits areas of emotional and relational immaturity in a family, Satan will use the same tactics upon the Church at large. As we seek to move and mature in faith and love - Satan will seek to sow discord, strife, fear, and ultimately division.

He absolutely fears our unity. The book of Acts gives insight into the power of unity against the enemy. The Holy Spirit was poured out in power upon the united Body. There were healings, deliverances, and not one among the fellowship had unmet need.  They were recognized as Christ’s disciples by their love for one another... and the LORD added daily to their number.

While Church growth programs today focus on “adding to our number,” perhaps it would be better to focus on unity birthed by love. Maybe when we get that right the Lord will add daily to our number.

Yet this writer clearly recognizes unity is no easy task, especially in our American culture. It does not take much effort on Satan’s part to bring division and discord. Ours is a culture that idolizes independence; that emphasizes “rights” and being right; that disconnects when offended.

It takes commitment, faith, emotional health and relational skills to walk in the pure love that produces unity.

While we may join together in a ministry related task – it is rare that we work to form solid relationships that can withstand the testing of time and tribulation.

 I can’t help but wonder if maybe the early Church knew something we have long since lost. The simplicity of their fellowship – daily times of supping together, meeting for teaching, and most of all – prayer...could that have prepared their hearts for the unity that followed? Is that what brought them into “one accord” with one heart and mind – sharing the good news that Christ is alive and His Kingdom come?

Did those extended times of contact pave the way for an intimacy of hearts, solidarity in relationship, a security in knowing a whole community was committed to you? Will that not be how it is upon His return? He will rule and lead – we will follow as one.

Imagine, one army, standing united against the schemes and attacks of our foe.

Imagine, one army, moving together in love to enforce the victory of Calvary within our homes and communities.

Imagine, one army, serving our One Lord with joy, faith, love – unity!

Perhaps HE is waiting on us to “assemble” before He returns – just a thought!

Our enemy already knows the power, the blessing that will come when we mature to this level of Christ-like character. I am convinced our unity will be the sign of Satan’s imminent departure from the realm of earth.

Let us make it our goal to cooperate with the Holy Spirit to become the ONE that displays the full glory of our King.