The Measure of True Forgiveness

True forgiveness is not just the absence of malice; it is also the presence of unconditional love - even love toward the offender.   Such radical forgiveness, such willing surrender, is a super natural grace found only at the cross.                            

It is only in the out pouring of our “self” that we make way for Christ’s overcoming love to fill us and flow through us to the world around us.

Faced with this crucifying reality, we may find ourselves tempted to justify a stubborn, unforgiving heart. After all, many of us have borne great offenses. The wounds run deep, the damage is great. How could God call us to abandon the post of self protection and be willing to love in abundance? Doesn’t He understand how much it hurts? Doesn’t He understand our betrayal? Doesn’t He see how wicked, perverted and unjust the violence was against us?

Yes, God is compassionate.  He will comfort you in your grief. But I ask you to consider Him who went before us.  How great was the wound YOUR sin inflicted upon Him? Is not your betrayal against Him greater than what you have suffered at the hands of others? He that knew no sin became sin – YOUR sin – that you might become His righteousness.

So can we ever justify defying His request to forgive as we have been forgiven – to love as he has loved us?

Be wary of nursing the wounds of your offense. There is no room at the cross for self-pity.  By His stripes you ARE healed from that wound, but ONLY if you make the exchange.  Jesus asks “do you want to be made well”?  Do you want to be whole – then you must go the way of the cross. You must embrace the pain – do not try to avoid it. You must move forward in a willingness to display Christ love, you mustn’t shrink back in fear of future offense. When you said “yes” to Jesus, you surrendered your right to remain in bondage to offense.

If indeed your life is hidden in Him, you will find the grace to love as He loves – to move beyond offense with a tender, broken heart, still willing to let His love seep out and water a dying world.

Yes, somehow resurrection life comes. The Holy Spirit is attracted to a broken contrite heart that is yielded to the purposes of God.  God comes forth in the midst of our anguish and makes all things glorious and new.

Keep your eyes on the prize which is Christ Jesus. Remember, when Christ, who is our life, appears, you will share in His glory (Col 3:4). Nothing you have endured can compare to this richest of treasures.

April Newsletter (Soul Care Center)

All about Emotions:

Create a New Perspective - Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

Of all the emotions we experience, “thanksgiving” has the unique ability to change the way we view the world around us. There is something about carrying an “attitude of gratitude” that lessens our likelihood to complain, whine or snap at others.

If we think about it, we really have plenty to be thankful for – even when we find ourselves in the midst of difficult circumstances. Praising God and giving thanks will increase the opportunity for us to see God even in the midst of trials.

Because there is so much creative power in thanksgiving, I encourage you to actually cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Here are a number of ideas to help you build a thankful heart:

·         Create a thankful journal – each day list a minimum of 10 things you are thankful about. Do not repeat items – keep it fresh!

·         Be mindful to thank people as they serve or bless you – whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or the cashier at the supermarket.

·         Think back over your life – identify three people who made a positive impact on your life. Write them a thank you card telling them what it meant to you!

·         Tape up 2 – 3 pieces of poster board in your kitchen or living room. Grab some markers and encourage everyone to write down anything they are thankful for throughout the next month. See how many items are listed.

·         Turn a negative into a positive. Scripture exhorts us to give thanks in all circumstances – God will use all things for our good when we invite Him to have His way. Reflect on difficult periods in your life. Ask God to show you how it has been used for good. Be sure to thank Him for his presence, provision, and purpose in it all.

·         Read some books on gratitude. Here are a few suggestions:

o   “Choosing Gratitude” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

o   “Exceeding Gratitude for the Creator’s Plan” by James P. Gills

o   “Radical Gratitude – Discovering Joy through Everyday Thankfulness” by  Ellen Vaughn

All about Health/Nutrition:

What You Didn’t Know About Drinking Water

We all know that our beverage of choice really should be water. In fact, “water is the single most important nutrient for our bodies” (Don Colbert, “Eat This and Live”).

Beverage manufacturers have discovered all sorts of ways to market on our increased awareness concerning our need for water. Now we can get all sorts of flavor and vitamin enhanced waters – so we don’t have to be bored with the plain stuff. But here are some interesting facts about drinking water that you maybe didn’t know.

·         While you may be more enticed to actually drink water, the flavored and/or vitamin enhanced water is not necessarily a good choice. Many of these products add sucralose or other artificial sweeteners. Some argue these sweeteners can cause a host of health problems including cancer. It may not be worth the risk. For a healthy alternative, use plain water and choose a flavor made with stevia (http://www.stevia.com/)   instead.

·         Dehydration can play a role in joint pain, heartburn, depression and a whole host of other health problems.*

·         Do not drink too much water at mealtime, it actually weakens the digestive acids in your stomach – delaying digestion.*

·         How much water should you drink? Divide your weight (in pounds) in half. That is how many ounces of water your body needs each day!*

It is also encouraged that water be filtered for greater purity. Look for filtering processes that use an alkalizing process for the greatest quality. (*source: Don Colbert, “Eat This and Live”).

All About Finances:

What is Financial Health?

“Financial health” has become sort of a catch phrase in recent times. I suppose if we were to refer to someone as “financially healthy” it would imply a number of things. We would conclude they had enough income to meet (and probably exceed) their monthly expenses. They live within a budget. We would assume they were not overloaded with debt. We might even imagine this person has some savings to fall back on in the event of emergencies or upcoming retirement.

That sure sounds like the picture of “financial health” that I’ve been sold. But I wonder if God has a different view concerning financial health.

I believe His picture would include generosity; trust in God – not riches; obedience in tithing and giving; stewarding for the needs of the Kingdom over personal lusts of the flesh; and a willingness to surrender all possession to follow Him.

You see, it’s not that the world’s view of financial health is inherently evil. We can even find Biblical precedence for such a model. But just because we stand right with our money in the world’s eyes does not mean we stand right with our money in God’s eyes.

Either He is Lord of every dollar and every dime, or He is not – and He knows the truth of the matter. When we deal with our money in relationship to principles we can shut out God’s voice. We subsequently shut out His ability to bless our finances. Financial health begins and ends with inviting God to have His rightful place over our money.

All about Relationships:

Dying to Our Expectations

Okay, I have a confession to make. I needed to humble myself and apologize to our oldest daughter, Cassandra. What made this particularly difficult was the fact that I had been deeply hurt. I wanted to hold on to my “right” to be injured and that it made it extremely difficult to say, “I’m sorry”.

It started simple enough. I spontaneously decided to put together a family movie night, complete with the newest Chronicles of Narnia movie and ice cream. Now this is something we rarely ever do – but I knew that my kids would be excited and blessed! Naturally – this blessing would increase my value in their eyes as well, right?

However, what I did NOT know was earlier in the day, Cassee, who IS eighteen, made other plans to spend time with her friend’s family. When I sprung our surprise movie night on her, she was not impressed. In fact, she didn’t appear remotely interested. She casually informed me she had other plans and would not be home.

Now, in all honesty, I was crushed. I couldn’t believe it was more important to her to go out and get ice cream with her friend’s family then come home and be with us. Talk about being deflated! I mean, we hardly ever do this, and to feel so betrayed – ouch! I felt justly offended.

But in truth, Cassee’s decision to move forward with her original plan was not sinful nor was it done in a spirit of harm towards me. It was simply her choice, her preference, to keep her original commitment.

I chose to be hurt because I expected her to want what I wanted for the evening. I expected her to appreciate the blessing – not turn it down. I expected her to be excited, but she was relatively disinterested. And I have to admit, I was somewhat callous toward her as a result.

That’s when the Holy Spirit (coupled with some prodding by my husband) made me deal with the selfish condition of my heart. My expectation for the evening created a demanding heart. When these expectations were not met, I wanted Cassee to feel my pain. This is NOT walking in love. I had no right to demand Cassee meet my expectations – and I knew it.

But still I hurt. I wanted our family movie event to be as important to her as it was to me. It was hard to accept that it wasn’t as important to her and that is okay. I had to renew my commitment to walk in love toward Cassee, meaning I had to let go of the offense brought on by my own expectations. So I did the hard stuff, and confessed to Cassee that while I was hurt, I had no right to demand she satisfy my expectations. I asked her forgiveness, and of course, being the wonderful daughter that she is, she graciously gave it.

I am learning to be increasingly mindful of my motivations and expectations. When we look to others to fulfill our sense of worth, value, and meaning – God will allow us to be frustrated. These things can only be met in Him. By letting go of our expectations of others, we free ourselves from the pain of disappointment.

All about Discipleship:

Tap into the Life-Changing Power of Praise

How much time do you spend in praise and worship – you know, making a conscious effort to ascribe glory to the God we serve? Is it limited to Sunday morning worship service? For many believers, this is true. Maybe we stop and praise Him when He answers a big need.

Yet praising God should be a daily discipline in the life of a believer. He is attracted to us when we declare His greatness. In fact, Scripture tells us God inhabits the praises of His people. Do you want God on the scene in your daily life? Start declaring His praises!

You spend enormous amounts of time each day worrying about situations over which you have very little control. Focus your efforts on praising God, and watch Him move! Magnify the mountain mover – not the mountain.

Praising God brings His presence. His presence brings transformation – both in our own hearts and in our circumstances. Practice praising Him for who He is and what He has done for you. Make praise a daily priority in your life. Start your day with His praise on your lips, end your nights with His praise on your lips - He is worthy!

Feeding the Flesh

I was recently prompted to go on a three day fast. Most food and beverages were off limits.  Oh how I missed my coffeeJ. I believe the Lord prompted the fast because I had been encountering significant resistance while moving forward in the call of God. I saw this happening to others as well.

I spent time with the Lord, engaging in worship and prayer; Scripture study; quiet meditation, and such – but did not experience an encounter with Him to the degree I had hoped when I started the fast.

By the end of the third day, I found myself tempted to focus on what I was going to eat in the days ahead. All the food I was currently saying “no” to would soon be available for my choosing. It would no longer be a matter of denying myself; I would be free to have whatever I craved. That was my “aha” moment.

You see, it’s one thing to have a limit to your “fast”. You may get to choose how long you will go without, or even “what” you will go without. It’s something else altogether to accept that we are called to “deny ourselves daily”.

 So, what if the Lord does not want me to return to the same level “freedom” in my diet? What if He wants to tell me “no” when I want to reach for the glazed donut? Would I listen? Would I accept that He has the right to control what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat?

I am beginning to realize just how much sway the appetite of the flesh still holds over me – just put chocolate in front of me and I crumbleJ. Okay, maybe not crumble, but it’s unlikely I will say “no”.

The appetites of the flesh don’t concern just food either. It can be any source of pleasure.  Take for instance the area of entertainment – are we willing to miss “Dancing with the Stars” because the Lord wants His Bride to spend time dancing with Him? Do we argue that at least we aren’t watching “morally degrading” programs? That may be true, but how much of it nourishes our Spirit?

The appetites of the flesh also manifest as greed or the constant striving to get more stuff, better stuff, the newest stuff.  I don’t particularly care to shop, but I still can find myself longing to decorate my home in some cute way or find some snazzy new outfit to wear. For some, NOT being able to fulfill those desires leaves feelings of frustration or emptiness. If the money is available to pursue such wants, do we stop and question whether that is truly how God would have us use that money? Or do we justify that we’ve earned it and continue to use the money as a tool to satisfy our flesh desires?

Our flesh appetite can even appear in relationships to others. When we look to control others to minimize our discomfort we are seeking to please the flesh. When we strive to get affirmation or attention from others in order to feel good about ourselves, we are longing to feed the flesh. When we demand our rights – we feed the flesh!

I am grateful that God is showing me that I still don’t deny myself to the degree of which He is worthy. I still need to enter into greater surrender and willingness to let him dictate ALL circumstances of my life.  This is not to be just some three day event, but rather a new way of life! Lord truly, your will be done.